Straight from the LIV Playbook: turning oil into wine

I've never had the chance to fly Emirates Airlines and I'm not even sure where they go, least of all golf destinations. However, after reading this week about their 2024 wine program, they can fly me straight through the Gates of Hell and I'd enjoy the ride. As far as I know, Emirates has nothing to do with the Saudi Public Investment Fund (PIF) that bought LIV Golf and most recently Jon Rahm, but they sure know a winning strategy when they see one, in this case turning oil into wine. In fact, I may be selling them short because for all I know they invented the concept of just buying the whole damn thing. Allow me to explain.  

According to an article in Business Traveler, since 2006 Emirates has spent about $1 billion on wine to keep its customers flying high, and while we don't have the annual breakdowns, the total in 2022 alone was over $50 million. More than six million bottles are resting comfortably in France right now, with the goal of being able to serve perfectly aged top-rank Bordeaux and Burgundy in future years. Orson Wells would be happy to learn that in Emirates First Class, for example, wines like Chateau Margaux and Cos D'Estournel will be released with a minimum of 12-15 years of bottle age. That what I call "Crus Control." 

The offerings drop precipitously from one cabin to the next. In Business Class, the Bordeaux aging regimen is a mere 8-10 years. And someone should alert the Emirates sommelier that the 2011 Chateau La Garde currently being served in Premium Economy is from a decidedly lean, sub-par year. But these passengers can drown their disappointment with Domain Chandon sparkling wines, an exclusive not available on any other airline. In regular Coach you can gripe while sipping biodynamic wines from the respected Rhone producer Chapoutier.   

All in all, I'd save my points, miles, dollars and UAE dirhams for a bucket-list, once-in-a-lifetime trip in first class, wherein if the flight is long enough you can generate a substantial discount given the value of the wines you consume. Suffice it to say if this is wine-washing, I'm ready to take a bath.